March 11, 2013: I Gotta Wear Shades

I drive Molly to school these days because first hour is band, and band is bad for people with concussions, so she might as well spend that time resting and hacking at the piles of homework that have been mounting since her injury.

Molly wears sunglasses to school. They’re squarish, oversized models in a shade of seafoam green usually seen on Stratocaster guitars and Chevy Belairs. She doesn’t wear them because the drive is bright – the gray-flannel skies, decaying snow and bare trees make you feel like you’re living inside a pair of sweatpants – but because the lights at school bother her.

“It’s not that the lights are so bright,” she said. “It’s just that after five hours it starts to wear you down.”

Molly is exhausted after a day of school. She’s weepy. She drapes herself on us. She craves hugs from Ann. For the most part she functions normally, but the aggregate is not normal. It’s a half-bubble off. It’s like yesterday, when I texted her on the way home from Madison and asked how she was feeling.

“The same,” she texted back, “but better.”

I called her out on the contradiction, but I know what she means. The same is the concussion. But better is the coming out.

She’s determined to come out. Since the first day she was diagnosed her goal has been to recover faster than her brother.

“That shouldn’t be hard,” I told her, “seeing as his idea of recovery was sitting on the couch playing video games and watching Duck Dynasty.”

(Andy's definition of brain rest and the doctor's may seem to be at odds, but after negotiating a couple episodes of Finding Bigfoot I realize they're actually not as far apart as they think.)

However, Molly is learning how hard brain rest can be. She’s done more laundry than she’s done in her life. She’s cooked. She’s baked. She’s done crafts. She goes to dance and watches the other girls dance.

She tries to watch less TV. But she can’t totally walk away from Say Yes To The Dress, nor should she be expected to. Trite as it may seem, a big part of her recovery is wrapped up in feeling good, and occasionally in the course of all this you need to do something bad to feel good.

An extra half a concussion day for a little solace along the way? It goes against doctor's orders, but at times it’s a deal worth doing.